Embracing the Dance of Life: A Journey from Doom to Harmony

In the year 2020, I found myself at a crossroads, grappling with feelings common to many young adults in our era—those of a "doomer." This term often used colloquially, describes a sense of despair and disillusionment with the world, a feeling of being lost in the face of seemingly insurmountable challenges. It was a period marked by a deep struggle with control, attachment, and a relentless desire to shape life according to my expectations. However, my journey since then has been transformative, leading me to embrace a Taoist-inspired philosophy that changed my outlook and approach to life.

At the heart of my transformation was the realization of a simple, yet profound truth: I have no control over anything or anyone, except as much as the higher powers or the natural order deem it. This realization was not an admission of defeat, but rather an awakening to a new way of living. It meant understanding that even I was not entirely under my control, a concept that initially seemed daunting but eventually became liberating.

This epiphany led me to fully surrender to life, or as I prefer to call it, to God or the Tao. This surrender was not passive; rather, it was an active engagement with life's flow. I stopped trying to manipulate or control the events and people around me. Instead, I chose to let life unfold naturally, trusting in the wisdom of a higher order.

This approach to life is deeply rooted in Taoism, particularly in the principle of Wu Wei, which advocates for 'effortless action' or 'action through non-action.' It's about aligning oneself with the natural course of things, recognizing that often the most effective way to deal with life's challenges is not through force or control, but through understanding and adapting to the natural flow of events.

By letting go of my attachments and the need for control, I found a new sense of peace and contentment. It was as if I had been swimming against a powerful current, exhausting myself, only to realize that by letting go, I could float and be carried by the river's flow. This metaphor of floating in a river encapsulates the essence of my new philosophy: life is a stream, and we are merely travellers, sometimes swimming, sometimes floating, but always moving forward.

One of the most beautiful aspects of this journey has been learning to dance to the music of life. This doesn't mean living without purpose or direction, but rather moving with life's rhythms, responsive and adaptable, like a leaf dancing in the wind. It's about finding harmony in the chaos, rhythm in the noise, and peace in the uncertainty.

For anyone struggling as a "doomer," as I once did, my message is one of hope and transformation. The path to serenity and fulfillment lies not in controlling life but in embracing it in all its unpredictability and complexity. It's about surrendering to the flow, trusting in the journey, and learning to dance to the ever-changing music of life.

This is an an account of my End Of Times Journal I have been keeping for the last 3 years now…

In 2020, amidst a global backdrop of uncertainty and turmoil, I found myself embroiled in a deeply personal and turbulent journey. These diary entries from that year encapsulate a period of intense struggle, transformation, and ultimately, a profound realignment with the principles of Taoism and the art of living harmoniously with life's natural flow.

April 20th, 2020: A day marked by conflict and intense emotion. My interactions were charged with energy transference, leading to a fight with Terrance. The intensity of my feelings was palpable, a mix of love, anger, and a strong sense of protection, underscoring my inner turmoil and the struggle to find balance and understanding in my relationships.

April 21st, 2020: This entry reflects a deep sense of unacknowledged pain and a yearning for respect and understanding. It was a time when I felt like a dragon, powerful yet misunderstood, breathing fire in the face of provocation. My visit to Terrance's house was a step towards reconciliation and a testament to my underlying desire for harmony and progress.

April 22nd, 2020 (Earth Day): Love for humanity and a sense of mission are evident. I recognized the potential for different futures, one of destruction and another of salvation. My commitment to a mission, a life's task, hinted at the early stages of my journey towards surrendering to life's flow.

April 23rd-26th, 2020: These missing days, culminating in waking up in a mental ward, signify a period of lost control and deep personal crisis. It was a time of confusion, anger, and a sense of being overwhelmed by the events around me.

April 27th-May 4th, 2020: The time in the psychiatric ward was a period of introspection and recalibration. It was during this time that I began to reflect deeply on my life's direction and the changes I needed to make.

May 5th-10th, 2020: These entries show a gradual return to stability, marked by simple pleasures and the beginnings of self-love and acceptance. I started to embrace a more peaceful approach to life, slowly shedding the layers of anger and frustration.

May 11th-12th, 2020: Conflict with my brother and a sense of mission towards my ventures, such as Yukon Gold, highlighted the ongoing struggle between my inner turmoil and my aspirations. It was a reminder of the challenges of balancing personal growth with external ambitions.

May 13th, 2020: This entry reflects a turning point, a day of hope and reconciliation. It signifies the beginning of a more constructive phase, focusing on healing, understanding, and moving forward with purpose.

May 14th-30th, 2020: These days were a mix of introspection, rebuilding relationships, and a renewed focus on health and well-being. It was a time of healing, both mentally and physically, as I navigated my way through the complexities of my life.

June 1st-July 30th, 2020: A period of reconnection with nature, self-care, and gradual healing. The simple act of hiking and spending time outdoors was therapeutic, aiding in my journey toward a more balanced and harmonious life.

July 31st-August 30th, 2020: These entries reflect a conscious decision to overcome depression and take control of my health and well-being. It was a time of reconnecting with friends and family and a reminder of the importance of supportive relationships in our lives.

September 30th, 2020: Returning to work and grappling with personal challenges, this entry highlights the ongoing journey of self-improvement and the need for balance in work, health, and personal well-being.

October 13th-18th, 2020: A period of vulnerability and a reminder of the importance of mental health. It underscores the need for continuous self-care and the courage to seek help when needed.

November 2020-April 2021: These months were a time of rebuilding, marked by a new job and a focus on preparing for future challenges. It was a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the capacity to rise from despair to hope.

In summary, these diary entries from 2020 chronicle a journey from deep despair to a place of harmony and acceptance. They are a powerful testament to the human capacity for growth, transformation, and the ability to embrace life's dance, even in the darkest of times. Through this journey, I learned the value of surrendering to the natural flow of life, letting go of the need for control, and the importance of self-love and compassion in the face of life's challenges.

To my fellow doomers, this story is a beacon of hope and a testament to the power of transformation. You are not alone. Like a phoenix rising from ashes, you too can emerge from despair to enlightenment. Embrace the dance of life, trust in your journey, and know that transformation is within your reach.

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The Daily Taoist on Youtube

Founder, Yukon Gold Partnership

Director, Doomer Bloomer Institute

Spiritual Guide, Daily Taoist Foundation

Namaste,

Will Nemo

aka The Daily Taoist